5 Things Learned From My Sister’s Wedding

I can call it procrastination, writer’s block, lack of time and whatnot. But, I am pulling myself again to write this blog post, Self motivation works.

There is a saying in Tamil, “Kalyanam Panni Paar , Veedu katti Paar” which literally translates to “Build a house, Organize a Wedding”. Now I understand the significance of those words, because those both would teach you lots of lessons on people and money. I have no experience in building a house and also have no idea if an experience in getting a house loan counts. One and a half month ago my sister got married and that was an incredible experience which taught me quite a lot. I am just wishing to share few of those through this post.

  1. Shopping Frustration:
    To confess, this is the least favourite part for me in this marriage. I never enjoyed shopping for clothes, so felt kinda burdened while shopping with my mom and my sis. With neither sense for fashion nor taste for colours, it gets difficult when asked for suggestions. It’s not an easy talk to convince both my mom and sis, they would look at 1000 to pick one. I pity the sales persons in those shops, they stand all day and even work harder to convince customers like my mom and sis to buy. Most of my shopping time, I end up standing, holding bags and observe the art of selling. Least I could do well was take care of payments and accounts.
    Lesson: Patience, lots of patience.

  2. Date (Fate) Determination:
    To be clear, this one is not about the date in which a guy and a girl go out together, but the one which is on the calendar. It’s not just the marriage date, but every other date associated with the event. Sincere thanks to Panjangam or age old Practices or whatever they call it. Everything to be done has got some specific so called good date and time to execute. Starting from buying wedding Saree to selecting the wedding invitation, everything involved a good date and a good time. The worst part is most of it lies on week day and in my work hours, god damn, why couldn’t they do it whenever it’s convenient, someone explain pls. Thankfully, my flexible working hours rescued at times. I could digest every other thing, but fixing time for the wedding night is bit too much. I pity the bride and the groom who has to wait for the right time 😀
    Lesson: Never question someone’s faith.

  3. Invitation Distribution:
    This is one mammoth task, It’s the most time consuming next to my sister’s shopping.
    How could I ever forget that epic trip. We actually planned to visit some 30 relation’s residents in and around pondicherry and cuddalore to invite them. So we hired a call taxi and started from our home by 5 am and returned home 1 am the next day after visiting around 60 relation’s residents and inviting them. It’s all cos of out improper planning, only on our way we realized that we didn’t cover FEW in our list and started covering their residents too. I advised my parents to cover those houses some other day, but they were determined to complete on a go. Though the driver was tired and frustrated with this, he was polite to us, should thank him for that.
    I also had a great time visiting my friends houses and inviting them. My bad, I did miss to invite few of them and they are gracious to accept my invitation over phone or WhatsApp. One best friend even came all the way to my office to collect the invitation.
    Lesson: Prepare a list and plan accordingly. Start distributing invitation well in advance, so that they have enough time to plan to attend the wedding and you have enough time to invite all you need to.

  4. Relation(ship) Confusion
    I can’t complain about few of my relatives, cos I left it to them, complaining is solely their department. “This is not good”, “You would have done it this way”, “What color is that”, “You didn’t respect me”, “You didn’t properly invite me”, “There is No AC”, etc. They could keep on complaining all long and at times it’s really frustrating to hear them. Now let me come to the confusion part. I have no idea about most of the relatives.  It’s really embarrassing when they know about my education, work, etc. and I don’t even know their name. I some how managed the situation but answering their question and with my smile when I don’t know an answer. They all end up the conversation with one frustrating dialogue, “Next is You”, Yes, obviously it’s me.  But the bright part is, few close relatives helped a lot throughout the marriage and my sincere thanks to them.
    Lesson: Relatives. a necessary evil.

  5. Friendship Admiration
    I’m so happy that few of my friends came for the marriage in spite of the distance. I have decide to forgive those who came up with reasons rather than turning up for the marriage. Hope, at least they turn up for mine. It’s not only my friends, My sister’s besties stayed there to help her out. My dad’s friends are awesome too, they helped us all the way. Some of his friends didn’t even bother to sleep on the floor, while some of my relatives were complaining about no AC in their rooms. I was overwhelmed when most of our neighbours turned up for the marriage and few helped mom with lots of small functions that held at home during the marriage. I could surely say, no of friends outnumbered the no of relatives at the marriage. I thank them all for helping us.
    Leason: A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else. 

I dedicate this post to the recently wed, my sister Janani and her husband Mr. Sabarinathan, wish the couple an awesome married life ahead.

5 thoughts on “5 Things Learned From My Sister’s Wedding

  1. janani

    Congratulations to your sister who is my namesake 🙂 Good to know these points. Kudos to you to have been a sincere son and brother and to have helped them out. I don’t know if even the groom would do so much work in my case. I have been frustrated with many things you pointed out and I am trying hard that it does/should not happen at mine. Wishful thinking!!

    1. gokoulane Post author

      Thanks lot janani for the comment 🙂 All the best for your marriage, kindly avoid panicking for everything, things would go smooth.

      1. janani

        Well I believe whatever or however the wedding happens it does not determine our relationship/journey with the other person, that seems a good enough reason to enjoy the planning. Though it is very hard for women/brides not to panic 🙂 I ll try my best.

  2. Shalini

    I liked your blog, and though a million things can go wrong, the minute your sister was wed to her better half, I’m sure she would have forgotten about all the hurdles that took place while getting there 🙂


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