Category Archives: love

Bansky & Lane – A Year Since We Got Married

“I Love You”

This is how I precisely concluded the last blog post on the Bansky & Lane series. For starters, Bansky is the nickname of my wife Banupriya and Lane is mine. As many of you might have guessed, I am writing this post celebrating our first anniversary.

30th August day is a special day for us. It’s not only our wedding day but also Bansky’s birthday. As the most famous Chronicwriter suggested, probably we should go ahead and celebrate this day as BanGok Day. Believe me, I badly wanted to write and publish this yesterday, on our special day. But the only reason it got deferred is, I wanted to spend the whole day with her and for her.

One of our most fav pic PC: SharathKumar

One of our most fav pic  –  PC: Sharath Kumar

We knew each other for just 6 months before we got married, and that’s not a lot of time to know and understand a person. As they say, knowing someone is totally different from being with them and we are no exception. Obviously, like any other couples living together, we either complain over the habitual differences for life or eventually adjust and get used to it.

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second respecting the differences.

To be honest, I always wanted to marry someone who has similar taste as mine and appreciate things the way I do. But, now I realize the importance of having a person with a completely different taste and perspective in your life. Though both of us have contrasting views and preferences, we continue to appreciate the differences and learn from each other. Of course, there would be arguments and small fights at times, but don’t you think those are inevitable in a relationship.

I really don’t believe in the concept of soul mates. I bet on the relationships that evolve over time with lots of love and tiny compromises. I sincerely wish ours matures that way too.

She is a simple, no-nonsense person and that’s the trait which I admire a lot. At times, what really dazzles me is her wittiness. The below tweet is one such example. Sorry, it’s hard to translate to English. I can go on and on about her, but don’t think it’s the right place. In the interest of time, both yours and mine, I better conclude it.

Dear Bansky,

I dedicate this blog post to you.
Thanks a ton for putting up with me for the past one and half years.
Thanks a ton for having my back always and saving my head often by being a great emotional support.

Cheers to many more awesome years to come.

Yours Awesomely
Lane

P.S.: I Love You

Opinions Does Matter, So The Differences

Let me start with a petty story, but a pretty story.

I have a close friend named Murali. During our college days, I was super fanatic about Microsoft Technologies and Bill Gates while he was an Apple and Steve Jobs zealot. Most of our meetings would end up each other defending our favorite brands and our icons.

Usually, I am the one who would kick start the debate with how Microsoft empowers the masses by building a great developer ecosystem and philanthropical activities of Mr.Gates. As a counteract, he would highlight the iPhone revolution and the innovation made by Apple in consumer electronic device space such as iPod, iPad and iMac. We would also spend hours debating about the “Pirates of the Silicon Valley” movie on who’s the most unethical of them. My tough times were the one when Steve Balmer became the CEO of Microsoft and both its innovation and stocks prices were going down the drain while Apple was turning out to be one of the most profitable companies in the history of the Wall St. Forever we spent our time comparing Apples to Blackberries.

Time moved on the same way until I moved from software development to marketing in my job as the Microsoft Windows Phone platform plunged. Consequently, the company provided me a MacBook Air as a replacement to my Windows Laptop. That was the moment I experience the simplicity, seamlessness and comfort that the Apple products provided. When I moved out of the company, I had to surrender the MacBook air and switching back to Windows laptop was quite difficult. Eventually, I decided to invest in a MacBook myself. I am petty sure, Murali would have laughed for minutes together when I told him about the same. It’s not just me who had a change in opinion, surprisingly, all of sudden he also started appreciating Microsoft. Now he likes how Microsoft is democratizing technology under the leadership of Sathya Nadella. Moreover, he started frequently complaining about how Apple lost its capacity to continuously innovate under TimCook.

That’s not the only contrast of opinions we had. He is one super religious and a devotional person who visits the temple almost every day. On the contrary, I visit the temple only during the festival times only for the sake of my friends, Prasadams (food offerings) and to catch a glimpse of our area girls.

The reason for me quoting the above story is to highlight the fact that, regardless of all the vast difference in opinions we are still close friends. During the course of time, even our opinions got changed naturally, but what didn’t change is the friendship. Murali is not alone here, there are quite a few people with whom I share a strong friendship despite our varied stance and perspective over things.

This post is just an overflow of frustration witnessing people in real life and social media trying to simply force their opinion on others and fight over the same without even empathizing the other’s situation. Time might one day change your opinions, just don’t be in the place where you regret losing people for the same.

P.S: Sorry for too many “opinion” on the post, definitely not trying to force them on you 😀

The Stained and Strained Collars

The International Workers Day or Labour Day is just around the corner. As much as the significance of the day, this short, quick and dirty blog post also aims to celebrate the working class across the world.

“Uzhaippali Illatha” song from the movie “Uzhaiplai” is always the first thing that would strike my mind every time I think of the Labours Day, followed by the famous Triumph of Labour statue by Marina Beach. I am yet to hear another song that glorifies the significance of the workforce as much as this one.

Whenever we think of this day, we mostly relate it to the blue collar workers, the stained collars who do the manual labor. Undoubtedly, they are the most suppressed workforce throughout history. We tend to often sympathize them when we learn about their hardships. But, what we fail to do is to empathize and that includes me too.

A week back, I was a bit furious with a delivery person for canceling my order and with the other not delivering my lunch on time. Then a couple of days back, a few relatives dropped by home for lunch. So, my family tasked me to pick up food from the same restaurant where I ordered last week. I felt burned out just for one trip to the restaurant and back in the hot Chennai sun. It took doses of juice and a long afternoon sleep to completely recover from the fatigue. At that point in time, all I could think off was the delivery guys whom I was furious with. Probably, next time when someone comes to deliver in the hot sun, I would give them something cool to drink or give them some extra tips. Among all their struggles to make their ends meet, these little things might put a smile on their face and keep them going.

With enough being said on the suppressed sect, let me jump to the depressed sect. Yes, If you have guessed it right, I am talking about the white collar workers, the strained collars who are tied to their desk forever. Typically, we tend to oversee their strains. Maybe cos they don’t have to do any physical labor. Maybe, cos they dress neat and work comfortably in an AC office. But, on the flip side, they are the ones who suffer the maximum from the mental health problems as a result of workplace stress. Lack of work-life balance and physical activities put them under the high risk of inducing major lifestyle-related conditions such as depression, insomnia, hypertension, diabetes, and heart diseases.

Self note: So, my dear desk clinging friend, it’s high time you keep a check on your mental as well as physical health.

Wish the stains wash away and the strains loosen up and relax. Happy International Workers Day.

Bansky & Lane

Finally, I get to write this post that was overdue for quite some time. Today is a special day in my life and the sole reason behind me publishing this post early rather than the last day of the month as usual. If you are wondering what’s so special about today? It’s the same day (19th March) last year I got engaged to my wife Banupriya. I can’t find a better occasion to write about our marriage and don’t want to procrastinate it further.

Ours was a typical arranged marriage. If the term sounds alien to you, let me try to explain. It means, we both are incapable of finding our partners on our own and our families pitched in to help with the matchmaking.

We first met on Feb 15th, 2018 at a mall, solely to avoid the typical guy visiting the girl’s home episode. With the blessings of both our families, we were allowed to talk in private. Believe me, all I was given is some 40 odd minutes to decide on my life partner and that’s how Indian arranged marriages work. Never like before, meeting a girl felt a bit weird. Like anyone who knows me would have guessed, I did all the talking and she was patiently listening. Blame the chatterbox in me. Though I liked her, I was inconclusive to give out an answer as she spoke a little that day and that seems to have disappointed both our families. I didn’t want to completely rule her out as I liked her, so we decided to resume our conversation the next day. We both felt more comfortable conversing over the phone than in person and she started to open up a bit. After the call, I found her to be a simple, confident and independent woman. So, I blindly trusted my instinct and momentarily said YES. A month later, on March 19th, 2018 we got engaged in a small ceremony at her home.

Throwback, a year ago. Engaged to Bansky

Though we had a solid 6 months gap between our engagement and wedding, it’s a big no-no for the couples to hang out alone before the wedding as her family was a bit conservative. However, that left us with no other choice than meet secretly after our work hours. Out of several meetings during our courtship period, the most memorable one was taking her out for the first time to the UDH Cafe. As time went on, Nelangarai beach became our favorite hangout spot. For us, that place holds a lot of beautiful memories.

Again, fast forward, we got married on 30th August and it was her birthday too. I deliberately chose that date so that I don’t have to remember 2 different dates in the future. It was quite a simple wedding blessed by the presence of dear friends, family, and wellwishers. Since then it was one hell of a roller coaster ride.

From food to music, movies, and colors we both have contrasting views and preference. Instead of fighting over the differences, we appreciate it and learn from each other. Both our lives have changed tremendously post marriage, in fact, we both are interdependent on each other for a lot of things, but never invaded one’s personal space. There were many instances where she proved to be a very supportive, responsible, practical and mature person. But, that’s not all. Your perspective on her will change when you unexpectedly get hit by her mischievousness and wits. Overall, she is quite a cool person unless you mess up with her and I have learned it the hard way :D.

I dedicate this post to you, Bansky, my dear wife. You know I am nowhere good with cheesy words and romantic gestures. How about I conclude this post with an “I Love You”. Cheers to lots of awesome times ahead together.

Thank You 2018 Welcome 2019

I wished to continue the trip to remember series but in my case wishes seldom realize. Time constraint usually sounds like a good problem to have (KP hope you read this :D) and it’s easy to shift the blame on it. Behind the scenes stands new responsibilities and complete mismanagement of time.

It’s been a while since I wrote a year-end note, the last one was way back in Dec 2013. This 2018 being quite a pivotal year in my life, I indeed feel indebted to write about it.

My top 9 Instagram pics

 

Dear 2018,
I got to thank you for a lot of things. At the top of the list is my marriage with Banupriya. Our first meeting was in February, since then it was one hell of an exciting journey together. Eventually, we got engaged in March and got married in August.

Professionally, it has been one hell of a ride. My 8-year long stint at INXS/Market Simplified came to an end in November. Following the same, I joined a multinational bank. Moving from a fintech startup to a financial conglomerate, Isn’t it quite contrasting?. Currently, I feel like a pond fish that’s learning to swim in an ocean. Eventually, will learn to survive, sustain and hope to excel.

Though I missed my annual trek trip this year, I more or less compensated it with a dream trip to Amritsar, Agra, and Delhi. Visiting the Golden Tempe at Amritsar was one of the most memorable and blissful experiences of the trip. The list doesn’t end there, a few brief trips to Pondicherry, Banglore, and Hyderabad kept my traveler’s spirit moving. To conclude, the jewel in the crown was our trip to the most mesmerizing Meghalaya for our honeymoon. Undoubtedly the best trip of the year.

Once started as a hobby to fill the void and get connected to people, collecting and writing postcards have become almost an addiction. Later this year, my collection crossed 100 countries mark. With a long way to go, I thank everyone who helped me in this so far.

Last but not least. Thanks, for all the fun and great moments with my friends. I do cherish each one of them. I don’t mind getting greedy and wish for more.

On the downside, my fitness went into the drain. I didn’t run or cycle much in this whole year, almost negligible. But, I did learn a bit of swimming early in the year. Wish I continued the same.

Dear 2019,
I welcome you with open arms. As usual, I don’t want to tax you with resolutions and unrealistic expectations. All I can ask is, kindly be fair and square to me. Give me all motivation to restart my running and cycling. Give me all the strengths to face my challenges. Keep everyone happy and smiling. May the force be with you.

Force Majeure

A wise person once said, “Do your duty as you see it, and damn the consequences”. So, writing this in spite of my wedding tomorrow (Yes, a dedicated post on it will be up shortly) as I feel obligated to do the same.

If you are someone who deals with business contracts a day in and day out, I am pretty sure the title makes sense to you. However, for the rest, the below must help.

Force Majeure literally means greater force. These clauses excuse a party from liability if some unforeseen event beyond the control of that party prevents it from performing its obligations.

Before I start, I just wanted to assure you that this post is definitely not about the Force Majeure contract clause and sub-clauses. It’s just a fancy title hook to make you read the post.

I am gonna try put forth my views through a hypothetical situation. Hope it helps.

Let’s consider that you had a long day and you are on your way back home, kinda late at night. En route, you see a bus got into a brutal accident. You witness the passengers were struggling to get out of it and the bus entirely flipped. As it’s late in the night, they are mostly on their own and striving to get out of it. What would you do?

  • Wouldn’t you run to help them?
  • Try to save lives?
  • Call the ambulance?
  • Try to get all the assistance you could?

OR

  • Would you be standing and investigating the root cause of the mishap?
  • Sit and debate if it was cos the passengers had the food that you wouldn’t approve
  • Discus if it was cos a female driver wanted to drive the bus which was usually driven by a male driver?
  • Obstruct others from helping by stating some laws?
  • Shamelessly portray that you are helping and stealing the credits of the genuine saviors?

The above is not any other hypothetical situation. You can very much relate to what’s happening in Kerala. And, it’s quite heart-wrenching to see what’s God’s own country is going through.

My very first trip out of Tamil Nadu (excluding yearly trips to Tirupathi) is to Munar, Azhapuzha & Thekadi in Kerala during my school days. I still treasure the pictures I clicked there using a film camera. Many others followed including the recent Vagamon, Wayanad and Cochin trips. I have always been awestruck by its astounding natural beauty, food, and culture. But now, it’s saddening to see it getting drowned in floods.

What’s most unfortunate is a few who are politicizing the situation by paining it with tints of religion and caste. It’s ok if you don’t want to lend a helping hand, but don’t stop others from doing so. We are a county with high human values. There have been instances where we had even helped the people of counties considered as our enemies in their hardships. My hope on humanity never dies, whatever the case is, it triumphs surpassing all boundaries. I can say that confidently having witnessed it loud and clear during the Chennai floods.

My contribution to the flood relief might be pretty small, but I don’t feel it’s insignificant. When tiny-tiny raindrops could collectively cause this terrible flood, in the same way, our tiny-tiny contributions will collectively help to bring the state back to normal. And, that’s what makes the tiniest of our efforts significant. Let’s pour in all the help we could.

Dear Kerala, not far are the days when we will visit you for some peace of mind and see happy faces around as usual.

Till then let’s Care la for our Kerala.

Essence Of Time

It’s already half past 9 in the eve and all I got is less than 3 hours to publish this post. My laziness, a busy month, procrastination and a lot could be blamed for writing this in the nick of the moment, as usual. However, my strict monthly target of at least one blog post per month and a hand full of readers who regularly read my blog is what that motivates me to keep on writing. Can’t thank you guys enough.

I almost hit the wall deciding on the topic for this blog post. What came to rescue is the topic that I was discussing with my fiance yesterday. Yeah, you read it right. I am currently engaged and getting married pretty soon. Wait for it guys, that episode deserves a separate blog post.  There is a reason why I had to mention her here and I really feel pity for that poor soul. Just for the mistake of making me wait for a couple of minutes, she had to painstakingly listen me talk about punctuality and integrity of the Japanese people for half an hour. In the ESSENCE OF TIME, I will keep this shot.

There is a general opinion that we Indians are quite insensitive about TIME, which I feel is true to an extent. I have this best buddy of mine, out of all the times we have met, only once he was on time and that lead me to a deep shock. I am really sorry da to pull you down here, didn’t have a choice. This doesn’t mean I am punctual all the time, but at least try to be on time. Worst case, I apologize when I am late.  It’s okay to be insensitive about your own time, it’s once own choice. But, where we fail the most when we fail to appreciate the time of others.

“Arriving late was a way of saying that your own time was more valuable than the time of the person who waited for you.”
-Karen Joy Fowler, The Jane Austen Book Club

I wish I could say the above is my all time favorite quote and all that. But, just copied from Goodreads site so that it suits the context.

Have you appreciated the friend who patiently listens to all your ranting whatever the time of the day it is, the friend who spends hours and days to get you an awesome gift  for your birthday just to make you feel happy, your parents who lost all their own time taking care of you and finally, that relative who takes finding mistakes and advising you as their lives mission. We fail to appreciate their sincere efforts and take them for granted, don’t we?. They are spending something invaluable on you. It’s only fair we return them time and undivided attention, cos that’s the only thing that’s at par that’s worth their efforts.

Thanks for taking your valuable time to read this post. Now it’s your turn to thank me for spending my precious time writing this to enlighten you all. Just Kidding. Peace.