Tag Archives: bansky & lane

Layoff, Lockdown and Lots of Love

Though I write only one blog post per month, I try to make sure not to miss out on any significant event in my life. Honestly, I held writing about the following for a couple of months, hoping things would get better. Who doesn’t like stories with happy endings?

If you are wondering if things got any better? Actually no, It’s pretty much the same. However, I currently feel quite positive to pen it down, and honestly, I have nothing else to write.

Layoff

The 16th of March 2020 is a day that I can never forget in my life. Unfortunately, not for good reasons. It started as one ordinary Monday at work until my super boss called us in for a surprise meeting, individually. With no experience of being fired before, the only thing I can relate the meeting to is the firing scenes in Hollywood movies. The HR cited that the layoff is due to corporate restructuring, and had nothing to do with my performance. I was wondering if I should be thankful for the kind clarification. Extremely shocked, and all the HR communications on how they dearly care for employees felt like one big joke. Though I felt devastated, I was quite hopeful of landing in a job soon.

Lockdown

To make things worse, swiftly followed the coconspirator CORONA a.k.a COVID-19. And, that further thinned my chance of getting a job. Even roles for which I attended interviews got held, given the uncertainty that surrounded the businesses. In addition to that, being away from my wife and my newborn daughter made it lonelier and depressing. Despite all these, I did spend some quality time learning new things and applying for jobs right, left, and center. But, from time to time, I suffered from depression and lack of sleep. It might be a shock for most of my friends, as I am well known for my superpowers to sleep anywhere and anytime. Only then I realized how important is mental health, so please take care of it. It’s a self note too.

A couple of weeks back, amid all this chaos, all of a sudden, my daughter fell ill. We had to admit her to the hospital for a week until she got better. Those are the moments I felt like hitting the rock bottom of my life. To our relief, luckily, doctors ruled out anything serious. The only good thing that happened was, my wife and our daughter returned home, and a major missing ended. For now, both the lockdown and my pursuit for a stable full-time job seems to continue.

Lots of Love

Initially, I was too shy to share with my friends that I got laid off. But, once I reached them for help, what I received is lots of love and support. Some regularly called and checked if I was ok, some went beyond their way to get me job referrals, some helped me update my resume and profile, and so on. And, of course, my family was quite supportive and encouraging as well. I was totally overwhelmed by all the love and care that I received.

And, a big bunch of it got delivered on my 31st birthday three days back. Bansky woke me up exactly at the stroke of midnight, and I thought it’s just to wish. But, she handed over her phone and insisted that I watch a video. The video had wishes from my best friends and my school teachers. I was super surprised and couldn’t stop smiling for the next hour and a half due to overflowing happiness. And, that’s what a 15 mins video from the loved ones can do to you. I have zero clues about how she got it done. For a while, she was hinting me that she wouldn’t be able to get me any gift for my birthday due to the lockdown. On the contrary, she gifted me the precious of all, the time, wishes, and love from my loved ones. Probably, the best birthday gift ever. Thanks a ton Bansky, Love you 🙂

The collage of wishes from my fiends and teachers ❤

Later in the evening, I had a ZOOM call with my school besties, where they together sang our school birthday wish song in Tamil. In fact, Sam Sung too (that’s an inside joke). Super thanks to all my friends who wished me on my birthday and It means a lot.

During one of the recent calls with my friend SJ, she said, “When you are down, just think of people who are going through a lot worse and be thankful for what you have got, and that would take you a long way ahead.”. And, how true is that. I hope things turn back to normal soon. Not just for me, but for everyone else who’s going through a tough time.

Hey Little Pink Line

Dear Iniyaal,

I hope you are Happy, Hale and Healthy.

I am writing this, even though it’s quite unlikely that you would read it someday by yourself. But, knowing the narcissistic me very well, I bet I would definitely make you read this when you are old enough. Probably when you grow up, the hobby of blogging would have become a history. And, I would brag that I used to blog and all and even wrote about you. So, apologies well in advance.

To a maximum extent, I try to jot down the key moments of my life in this blog. Something like a memoir, predominantly for the sole reason to savor those memories later. Though the objective of this blog post is no different, it does feel extra special.

It was on 25th March 2019 we suspected that your mother was conceived with you. Then, you were just a little pink line on a pregnancy test. A couple of days later, I was just leaving the office after a bad day at work. While I was just about to get into the cab, your mom called me to deliver the good news. Yes, the doctor has confirmed that we’re pregnant. That completely changed my mood, and I was jumping out of joy with a big smile on my face. Momentarily, I even clicked one horrible selfie and shared it with your mom. Cos, that’s a moment worth remembering forever.

Since then, it had been one hell of a roller coaster ride for us. It was your mom who went through all the hardships in bringing you safely into this world. Right from diet restrictions, morning sickness to discomfort, and swelling of the foot, she somehow managed it all. All I did was support her a bit by taking her to the hospital for checkups. And, still complained that my weekend got ruined cos of the same. The journey was a bit challenging for me, as I was struggling to fit into my new job at the same time. But on the other side, it was filled with many memorable moments and a few that I would love to recall.

When you were just a 6-7 week only embryo, we went to the OBG doctor for the checkup. During the visit, the doctor showed me a small dot on her Ultra Sonogram machine and made me hear a sound. Then she said, it’s your baby and what you heard was its heartbeat. That moment my heart skipped a beat, hearing your heartbeat.

Your mom started feeling your little movements as early as 4 months. But, I had to wait a couple more months to feel you kick inside her. Now and then your mom would promptly pull my hand towards her belly, just to make me feel your movements. She would always mention that you jiggle a bit extra than usual whenever I used to talk and sing to you (despite my horrible voice). One of those days, you kicked in your mom so hard that I was able to feel it hit hard on my palm. It was such a blissful moment that momentarily got me goosebumps.

This one is definitely unparallel to the above two moments, in fact, unparallel to none.
It was quite stressful as the due date approached. It seems you felt so comfortable inside and didn’t even bother to come out, as your mother didn’t have any sign of labor pain even after the due date. On 27th November 2019, around 1 pm, while I was still in the middle of my work, I received a call from your mom that put me straight into the panic mode. She told me that the doctor has advised a c-section, as there was some complexity. I swiftly rushed to the hospital, where your mom was all prepped for surgery in a surgical gown. She instantly noticed my face filled with fright, then she held my hand tight and comforted me that it would be all fine. Yes, it should have been the other way around, but your mom is a strong woman. It’s really tough to explain how I felt waiting outside the operation theatre. It was a mix of anxiety and excitement at the same time. It was almost an hour since they took your mom into the OT. On the other side of the wall, I was trying hard to calm my nerves down with music and ignore everyone around. Around 6 pm, the nurse came out and announced that it’s a baby girl. OMG, I was literally jumping out of joy and can’t wait to meet you for the first time, because I always wanted a girl child. Then 15 mins later, the doctor walked out of the OT holding you and handed you over to my mom and mentioned that you were born at 5.25 pm and weighed 2.450 kgs. You looked so adorable and cute. I can’t be happy enough. A few minutes later, they bought your mom out of the OT. Despite the effect and discomfort of anesthesia, her face glowed with a faint smile. That smile meant a lot of things to me, it’s like telling me that I got what I wanted always. I am pretty sure that she would have been the happiest person that day. That’s definitely one of the most defining and exciting moments of my life.

Just before 15 days, on 15th December 2019, we officially named you Iniyaal (இனியாள்) in a simple naming ceremony at your maternal grandparent’s home. Guess what, I am the one who came up with that name even a few months before you were born.

Now you are just a month old baby who spends most of the time feeding and sleeping. I admire every tiny aspect of you and go really crazy when you smile, though you smile quite rarely. Very cute and adorable, I must say.

That priceless smile.

Currently, you are a Chamathu innocent baby, but soon you would become an annoying kid. I hope eventually you transform into an intelligent girl and a strong woman. I wish that you grow up as a queen of your own world, rather than the little princess of mine. And, I extend all my support for the same.

Your mom would definitely kill me for posting the below pic. But, just look at the way she adores you. She loves you a lot Iniyaal.

Again, I apologize for the lengthy and boring letter.

Be Happy and Keep Smiling.

Your Awesome Loving Dad,
Gokoulane

Bansky & Lane – A Year Since We Got Married

“I Love You”

This is how I precisely concluded the last blog post on the Bansky & Lane series. For starters, Bansky is the nickname of my wife Banupriya and Lane is mine. As many of you might have guessed, I am writing this post celebrating our first anniversary.

30th August day is a special day for us. It’s not only our wedding day but also Bansky’s birthday. As the most famous Chronicwriter suggested, probably we should go ahead and celebrate this day as BanGok Day. Believe me, I badly wanted to write and publish this yesterday, on our special day. But the only reason it got deferred is, I wanted to spend the whole day with her and for her.

One of our most fav pic PC: SharathKumar

One of our most fav pic  –  PC: Sharath Kumar

We knew each other for just 6 months before we got married, and that’s not a lot of time to know and understand a person. As they say, knowing someone is totally different from being with them and we are no exception. Obviously, like any other couples living together, we either complain over the habitual differences for life or eventually adjust and get used to it.

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second respecting the differences.

To be honest, I always wanted to marry someone who has similar taste as mine and appreciate things the way I do. But, now I realize the importance of having a person with a completely different taste and perspective in your life. Though both of us have contrasting views and preferences, we continue to appreciate the differences and learn from each other. Of course, there would be arguments and small fights at times, but don’t you think those are inevitable in a relationship.

I really don’t believe in the concept of soul mates. I bet on the relationships that evolve over time with lots of love and tiny compromises. I sincerely wish ours matures that way too.

She is a simple, no-nonsense person and that’s the trait which I admire a lot. At times, what really dazzles me is her wittiness. The below tweet is one such example. Sorry, it’s hard to translate to English. I can go on and on about her, but don’t think it’s the right place. In the interest of time, both yours and mine, I better conclude it.

Dear Bansky,

I dedicate this blog post to you.
Thanks a ton for putting up with me for the past one and half years.
Thanks a ton for having my back always and saving my head often by being a great emotional support.

Cheers to many more awesome years to come.

Yours Awesomely
Lane

P.S.: I Love You

Bansky & Lane

Finally, I get to write this post that was overdue for quite some time. Today is a special day in my life and the sole reason behind me publishing this post early rather than the last day of the month as usual. If you are wondering what’s so special about today? It’s the same day (19th March) last year I got engaged to my wife Banupriya. I can’t find a better occasion to write about our marriage and don’t want to procrastinate it further.

Ours was a typical arranged marriage. If the term sounds alien to you, let me try to explain. It means, we both are incapable of finding our partners on our own and our families pitched in to help with the matchmaking.

We first met on Feb 15th, 2018 at a mall, solely to avoid the typical guy visiting the girl’s home episode. With the blessings of both our families, we were allowed to talk in private. Believe me, all I was given is some 40 odd minutes to decide on my life partner and that’s how Indian arranged marriages work. Never like before, meeting a girl felt a bit weird. Like anyone who knows me would have guessed, I did all the talking and she was patiently listening. Blame the chatterbox in me. Though I liked her, I was inconclusive to give out an answer as she spoke a little that day and that seems to have disappointed both our families. I didn’t want to completely rule her out as I liked her, so we decided to resume our conversation the next day. We both felt more comfortable conversing over the phone than in person and she started to open up a bit. After the call, I found her to be a simple, confident and independent woman. So, I blindly trusted my instinct and momentarily said YES. A month later, on March 19th, 2018 we got engaged in a small ceremony at her home.

Throwback, a year ago. Engaged to Bansky

Though we had a solid 6 months gap between our engagement and wedding, it’s a big no-no for the couples to hang out alone before the wedding as her family was a bit conservative. However, that left us with no other choice than meet secretly after our work hours. Out of several meetings during our courtship period, the most memorable one was taking her out for the first time to the UDH Cafe. As time went on, Nelangarai beach became our favorite hangout spot. For us, that place holds a lot of beautiful memories.

Again, fast forward, we got married on 30th August and it was her birthday too. I deliberately chose that date so that I don’t have to remember 2 different dates in the future. It was quite a simple wedding blessed by the presence of dear friends, family, and wellwishers. Since then it was one hell of a roller coaster ride.

From food to music, movies, and colors we both have contrasting views and preference. Instead of fighting over the differences, we appreciate it and learn from each other. Both our lives have changed tremendously post marriage, in fact, we both are interdependent on each other for a lot of things, but never invaded one’s personal space. There were many instances where she proved to be a very supportive, responsible, practical and mature person. But, that’s not all. Your perspective on her will change when you unexpectedly get hit by her mischievousness and wits. Overall, she is quite a cool person unless you mess up with her and I have learned it the hard way :D.

I dedicate this post to you, Bansky, my dear wife. You know I am nowhere good with cheesy words and romantic gestures. How about I conclude this post with an “I Love You”. Cheers to lots of awesome times ahead together.