Tag Archives: Wedding

Bansky & Lane

Finally, I get to write this post that was overdue for quite some time. Today is a special day in my life and the sole reason behind me publishing this post early rather than the last day of the month as usual. If you are wondering what’s so special about today? It’s the same day (19th March) last year I got engaged to my wife Banupriya. I can’t find a better occasion to write about our marriage and don’t want to procrastinate it further.

Ours was a typical arranged marriage. If the term sounds alien to you, let me try to explain. It means, we both are incapable of finding our partners on our own and our families pitched in to help with the matchmaking.

We first met on Feb 15th, 2018 at a mall, solely to avoid the typical guy visiting the girl’s home episode. With the blessings of both our families, we were allowed to talk in private. Believe me, all I was given is some 40 odd minutes to decide on my life partner and that’s how Indian arranged marriages work. Never like before, meeting a girl felt a bit weird. Like anyone who knows me would have guessed, I did all the talking and she was patiently listening. Blame the chatterbox in me. Though I liked her, I was inconclusive to give out an answer as she spoke a little that day and that seems to have disappointed both our families. I didn’t want to completely rule her out as I liked her, so we decided to resume our conversation the next day. We both felt more comfortable conversing over the phone than in person and she started to open up a bit. After the call, I found her to be a simple, confident and independent woman. So, I blindly trusted my instinct and momentarily said YES. A month later, on March 19th, 2018 we got engaged in a small ceremony at her home.

Throwback, a year ago. Engaged to Bansky

Though we had a solid 6 months gap between our engagement and wedding, it’s a big no-no for the couples to hang out alone before the wedding as her family was a bit conservative. However, that left us with no other choice than meet secretly after our work hours. Out of several meetings during our courtship period, the most memorable one was taking her out for the first time to the UDH Cafe. As time went on, Nelangarai beach became our favorite hangout spot. For us, that place holds a lot of beautiful memories.

Again, fast forward, we got married on 30th August and it was her birthday too. I deliberately chose that date so that I don’t have to remember 2 different dates in the future. It was quite a simple wedding blessed by the presence of dear friends, family, and wellwishers. Since then it was one hell of a roller coaster ride.

From food to music, movies, and colors we both have contrasting views and preference. Instead of fighting over the differences, we appreciate it and learn from each other. Both our lives have changed tremendously post marriage, in fact, we both are interdependent on each other for a lot of things, but never invaded one’s personal space. There were many instances where she proved to be a very supportive, responsible, practical and mature person. But, that’s not all. Your perspective on her will change when you unexpectedly get hit by her mischievousness and wits. Overall, she is quite a cool person unless you mess up with her and I have learned it the hard way :D.

I dedicate this post to you, Bansky, my dear wife. You know I am nowhere good with cheesy words and romantic gestures. How about I conclude this post with an “I Love You”. Cheers to lots of awesome times ahead together.

5 Things Learned From My Sister’s Wedding

I can call it procrastination, writer’s block, lack of time and whatnot. But, I am pulling myself again to write this blog post, Self motivation works.

There is a saying in Tamil, “Kalyanam Panni Paar , Veedu katti Paar” which literally translates to “Build a house, Organize a Wedding”. Now I understand the significance of those words, because those both would teach you lots of lessons on people and money. I have no experience in building a house and also have no idea if an experience in getting a house loan counts. One and a half month ago my sister got married and that was an incredible experience which taught me quite a lot. I am just wishing to share few of those through this post.

  1. Shopping Frustration:
    To confess, this is the least favourite part for me in this marriage. I never enjoyed shopping for clothes, so felt kinda burdened while shopping with my mom and my sis. With neither sense for fashion nor taste for colours, it gets difficult when asked for suggestions. It’s not an easy talk to convince both my mom and sis, they would look at 1000 to pick one. I pity the sales persons in those shops, they stand all day and even work harder to convince customers like my mom and sis to buy. Most of my shopping time, I end up standing, holding bags and observe the art of selling. Least I could do well was take care of payments and accounts.
    Lesson: Patience, lots of patience.

  2. Date (Fate) Determination:
    To be clear, this one is not about the date in which a guy and a girl go out together, but the one which is on the calendar. It’s not just the marriage date, but every other date associated with the event. Sincere thanks to Panjangam or age old Practices or whatever they call it. Everything to be done has got some specific so called good date and time to execute. Starting from buying wedding Saree to selecting the wedding invitation, everything involved a good date and a good time. The worst part is most of it lies on week day and in my work hours, god damn, why couldn’t they do it whenever it’s convenient, someone explain pls. Thankfully, my flexible working hours rescued at times. I could digest every other thing, but fixing time for the wedding night is bit too much. I pity the bride and the groom who has to wait for the right time 😀
    Lesson: Never question someone’s faith.

  3. Invitation Distribution:
    This is one mammoth task, It’s the most time consuming next to my sister’s shopping.
    How could I ever forget that epic trip. We actually planned to visit some 30 relation’s residents in and around pondicherry and cuddalore to invite them. So we hired a call taxi and started from our home by 5 am and returned home 1 am the next day after visiting around 60 relation’s residents and inviting them. It’s all cos of out improper planning, only on our way we realized that we didn’t cover FEW in our list and started covering their residents too. I advised my parents to cover those houses some other day, but they were determined to complete on a go. Though the driver was tired and frustrated with this, he was polite to us, should thank him for that.
    I also had a great time visiting my friends houses and inviting them. My bad, I did miss to invite few of them and they are gracious to accept my invitation over phone or WhatsApp. One best friend even came all the way to my office to collect the invitation.
    Lesson: Prepare a list and plan accordingly. Start distributing invitation well in advance, so that they have enough time to plan to attend the wedding and you have enough time to invite all you need to.

  4. Relation(ship) Confusion
    I can’t complain about few of my relatives, cos I left it to them, complaining is solely their department. “This is not good”, “You would have done it this way”, “What color is that”, “You didn’t respect me”, “You didn’t properly invite me”, “There is No AC”, etc. They could keep on complaining all long and at times it’s really frustrating to hear them. Now let me come to the confusion part. I have no idea about most of the relatives.  It’s really embarrassing when they know about my education, work, etc. and I don’t even know their name. I some how managed the situation but answering their question and with my smile when I don’t know an answer. They all end up the conversation with one frustrating dialogue, “Next is You”, Yes, obviously it’s me.  But the bright part is, few close relatives helped a lot throughout the marriage and my sincere thanks to them.
    Lesson: Relatives. a necessary evil.

  5. Friendship Admiration
    I’m so happy that few of my friends came for the marriage in spite of the distance. I have decide to forgive those who came up with reasons rather than turning up for the marriage. Hope, at least they turn up for mine. It’s not only my friends, My sister’s besties stayed there to help her out. My dad’s friends are awesome too, they helped us all the way. Some of his friends didn’t even bother to sleep on the floor, while some of my relatives were complaining about no AC in their rooms. I was overwhelmed when most of our neighbours turned up for the marriage and few helped mom with lots of small functions that held at home during the marriage. I could surely say, no of friends outnumbered the no of relatives at the marriage. I thank them all for helping us.
    Leason: A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else. 

I dedicate this post to the recently wed, my sister Janani and her husband Mr. Sabarinathan, wish the couple an awesome married life ahead.