Thoughts Untitled

Here we are, yet another month-end and yet another boring blog post.

Thanks to COVID and lockdown for temporarily taking out travel and treks off my life. Things that I love and enjoy writing on. Without these, I have nothing much exciting to write. With a couple of hours left for the day to end, I am just letting my thoughts flow this time. It’s going to be a lot of musings, so if you wanted to skip, this is the best time.

May might be a least favorite month, at least for the people of my city due to the blazing heat. But, for me, it has always been the favorite of all. It’s the month that always kept me excited. Not just because of May 4th, Star Wars Day (“May The Force Be With You”), but also cos it’s also my birthday month. During school days, my birthday always comes during the summer holidays, so no chance of celebrating with my friends. During my college days, 3 out of 4 years, I had semester exams on my birthday. For the rest of 1 year, it was an exam prep day. How unfortunate; my birthdays used to be such a low-key thing. Finally, things changed when I started working. Eventually, I had birthday celebrations at my workplace, and with my friends, it made it even more exciting and a day to anticipate.

The last birthday was the craziest ever and definitely not in a positive sense. It was amid the 1st wave of the COVID lockdown and was in the worst lows of my life. At the same time, my daughter was a bit sick and got admitted to the hospital; she was discharged only a couple of days before my birthday. Being laid off from work, I was actively job hunting as well. As a blessing in disguise, the only comfort was a video that my wife Bansky made compiling wishes from most of my close friends, which gave me a lot of hope during such a tough time.

Again, this birthday also turned out to be a lockdown birthday. That too, during a much worse 2nd wave. Things turned out to be better for me this time on both the personal and professional fronts. Also, I received a ton of hearty wishes from loved ones that made me feel blessed. But at the same time, the bitter and harsh reality outside sucks big time.

Trigger Warning – COVID Death
During the 1st wave, despite COVID infections in the close family and friends circle, luckily, there wasn’t any fatality. But that wasn’t the case this time. Almost every day, I heard some bad news from my close circle, and that really took a toll on my mental health. Either it was someone infected and under medical care or some who lost their dear ones permanently. One thing that hit my family and myself really hard was the demise of my close school friend’s dad, who is also a close family friend. In fact, there wasn’t even a single function that happened at our home without their family present as a whole. I wish strength to my friend and his family.

All I could hope is that things turn better on my next birthday so that I can go out and celebrate with my friends and family. I wish the same for all of us. Till then, take care and stay safe.

Happy 1st Birthday Iniyaal

Dear Iniyaal,

I hope you are Happy, Smiling, and Healthy.

Similar to the last blog post to you, I am writing this with a little hope that you would read it on your own someday. Also, as you might see, I tend to write about some of the significant moments in my life here in this blog, and today is one such. Yes, today you have completed a whole trip around the Sun for the very first time, congrats. Ok, in layman’s terms, you have just turned one year old today, and it’s quite a special birthday. So, Happy Birthday, Iniyaal.

As parents, our life has drastically changed in every way since we welcomed you into this world, the very same day last year. Since then, you have filled our lives with so much joy and beautiful memories. It might sound super cliché, but that’s the truth too. Now you have started crawling and pulling things that are on your arms reach, and began to stand holding things. It’s so exciting to see all the new cute things that you do. Of course, you are a little annoying at times by resisting to eat, to bathe, and sleep the whole night without waking us up in the middle. But that’s totally fine, and all those troubles are easily outweighed and compensated by your innocent cute smile. And, you have no idea how happy I feel when people around say that you got my smile. All I wish for you is that you be happy and keep that smile forever.

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You are my Lucky Charm. Generally, people presume that lucky charm just brings us a good time in life. But, I believe lucky charms also helps you to sustain through a tough time to see the other better side of it. Just like many around the world, this year wasn’t great for dad too. It was your cute activities and the innocent smile that helped me temporarily forget my problems most of the times. And, I am wondering if it would be apt to call you my antidepressant. So, Thank you, Iniyaal.

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Now let’s come to your 1st birthday. I understand that you are now a grownup and wondering why you didn’t have a typical birthday celebration like most of your friends. I am pretty sure being a one-year-old, you would be least bothered and excited about things like the theme of the party, whom to invite, the number of layers in the cake, or the perfect return gift. Therefore, any typical birthday party would be more about what we are excited about than you. So, with the COVID issue and other personal reasons, we decided to have quite a low key celebration.

Rest assured, you had one awesome 1st birthday today. You rode on the bike for the very first time to your very first visit to the temple. Of course, what’s a birthday without gifts. You received a ton of wishes and blessings from a lot of loved ones, the most priceless and precious gift you can ever get. You also did receive lovely postcards from people around the world wishing you. I sincerely hope you would read and appreciate them someday. Obviously, there were other tangible gifts, as well. Also, your mom tried her best to doll you up in the eve, and I somehow managed to click a few good pics. As usual, you looked very adorable and cute.

Sorry for yet another long letter, Iniyaal. I wanna conclude by saying, always love and respect your mom. She is super awesome and spends almost all her time taking care of you. Despite all the little troubles you give her, which include sleepless nights and restless days, she looks and adores you the same as the day you were born. That’s a lot of unconditional love, and you are so blessed to receive it, Iniyaal.

Be Happy and Keep Smiling. Love you a lot.

Your Awesome Loving Dad,
Gokoulane

Quarter Century – Not Out

I feel lucky and content at least to exist. In the same world where not all get good food, where not all have a proper shelter, where not all are healthy, where not all places are peaceful and where even existence is a big question.

Now I remember a famous quote by Oscar Wilde “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” , so I don’t just exist, I also do something people very rarely do, I LIVE my LIFE.

I love more than being loved.
I put more smiles than frowns on the faces I came across.
I don’t spend time thinking about the deep purpose of my life,
I better be happy and spread it around, while I figure that out.

I had my own goals, for which I worked hard to reach them.
I had my own successes, big or small, never ignored to celebrate them.
I had my own failures, small or big, never ignored to learn and move on.
I got inspired by many and I am an inspiration for a very few too.

I keep myself simple, sometimes stupid too.
I never regret for not wearing a mask and being myself.
I did only what I liked to do, at times it’s for people whom I love too.
I LOVE my life, that is how I LIVE my life.

Above, there are lots of ‘I’, are you wondering why? 😀 (Sentence heavily influenced by TR). Even I am wondering the same. Asusual i started writing something else and end up with this.

Now straight to the point, As many of you might have guessed from the title, Yay .. It’s my 25th birthday today. Life is like running an undetermined marathon, where you don’t know how long you going to run. Better rejoice while you pass the mile markers and stop by water stations just like this birthday and enjoy the run. #IRun

When someone ask me “what gift you got for this birthday?”, I would happily reply “chocolates and hearty wishes”. Nothing makes me merrier than your wishes, so do wish me (wishes with chocolates are most welcome). Before that, I wish myself a very happy birthday and awesome years ahead.