Thoughts Untitled

Here we are, yet another month-end and yet another boring blog post.

Thanks to COVID and lockdown for temporarily taking out travel and treks off my life. Things that I love and enjoy writing on. Without these, I have nothing much exciting to write. With a couple of hours left for the day to end, I am just letting my thoughts flow this time. It’s going to be a lot of musings, so if you wanted to skip, this is the best time.

May might be a least favorite month, at least for the people of my city due to the blazing heat. But, for me, it has always been the favorite of all. It’s the month that always kept me excited. Not just because of May 4th, Star Wars Day (“May The Force Be With You”), but also cos it’s also my birthday month. During school days, my birthday always comes during the summer holidays, so no chance of celebrating with my friends. During my college days, 3 out of 4 years, I had semester exams on my birthday. For the rest of 1 year, it was an exam prep day. How unfortunate; my birthdays used to be such a low-key thing. Finally, things changed when I started working. Eventually, I had birthday celebrations at my workplace, and with my friends, it made it even more exciting and a day to anticipate.

The last birthday was the craziest ever and definitely not in a positive sense. It was amid the 1st wave of the COVID lockdown and was in the worst lows of my life. At the same time, my daughter was a bit sick and got admitted to the hospital; she was discharged only a couple of days before my birthday. Being laid off from work, I was actively job hunting as well. As a blessing in disguise, the only comfort was a video that my wife Bansky made compiling wishes from most of my close friends, which gave me a lot of hope during such a tough time.

Again, this birthday also turned out to be a lockdown birthday. That too, during a much worse 2nd wave. Things turned out to be better for me this time on both the personal and professional fronts. Also, I received a ton of hearty wishes from loved ones that made me feel blessed. But at the same time, the bitter and harsh reality outside sucks big time.

Trigger Warning – COVID Death
During the 1st wave, despite COVID infections in the close family and friends circle, luckily, there wasn’t any fatality. But that wasn’t the case this time. Almost every day, I heard some bad news from my close circle, and that really took a toll on my mental health. Either it was someone infected and under medical care or some who lost their dear ones permanently. One thing that hit my family and myself really hard was the demise of my close school friend’s dad, who is also a close family friend. In fact, there wasn’t even a single function that happened at our home without their family present as a whole. I wish strength to my friend and his family.

All I could hope is that things turn better on my next birthday so that I can go out and celebrate with my friends and family. I wish the same for all of us. Till then, take care and stay safe.

Layoff, Lockdown and Lots of Love

Though I write only one blog post per month, I try to make sure not to miss out on any significant event in my life. Honestly, I held writing about the following for a couple of months, hoping things would get better. Who doesn’t like stories with happy endings?

If you are wondering if things got any better? Actually no, It’s pretty much the same. However, I currently feel quite positive to pen it down, and honestly, I have nothing else to write.

Layoff

The 16th of March 2020 is a day that I can never forget in my life. Unfortunately, not for good reasons. It started as one ordinary Monday at work until my super boss called us in for a surprise meeting, individually. With no experience of being fired before, the only thing I can relate the meeting to is the firing scenes in Hollywood movies. The HR cited that the layoff is due to corporate restructuring, and had nothing to do with my performance. I was wondering if I should be thankful for the kind clarification. Extremely shocked, and all the HR communications on how they dearly care for employees felt like one big joke. Though I felt devastated, I was quite hopeful of landing in a job soon.

Lockdown

To make things worse, swiftly followed the coconspirator CORONA a.k.a COVID-19. And, that further thinned my chance of getting a job. Even roles for which I attended interviews got held, given the uncertainty that surrounded the businesses. In addition to that, being away from my wife and my newborn daughter made it lonelier and depressing. Despite all these, I did spend some quality time learning new things and applying for jobs right, left, and center. But, from time to time, I suffered from depression and lack of sleep. It might be a shock for most of my friends, as I am well known for my superpowers to sleep anywhere and anytime. Only then I realized how important is mental health, so please take care of it. It’s a self note too.

A couple of weeks back, amid all this chaos, all of a sudden, my daughter fell ill. We had to admit her to the hospital for a week until she got better. Those are the moments I felt like hitting the rock bottom of my life. To our relief, luckily, doctors ruled out anything serious. The only good thing that happened was, my wife and our daughter returned home, and a major missing ended. For now, both the lockdown and my pursuit for a stable full-time job seems to continue.

Lots of Love

Initially, I was too shy to share with my friends that I got laid off. But, once I reached them for help, what I received is lots of love and support. Some regularly called and checked if I was ok, some went beyond their way to get me job referrals, some helped me update my resume and profile, and so on. And, of course, my family was quite supportive and encouraging as well. I was totally overwhelmed by all the love and care that I received.

And, a big bunch of it got delivered on my 31st birthday three days back. Bansky woke me up exactly at the stroke of midnight, and I thought it’s just to wish. But, she handed over her phone and insisted that I watch a video. The video had wishes from my best friends and my school teachers. I was super surprised and couldn’t stop smiling for the next hour and a half due to overflowing happiness. And, that’s what a 15 mins video from the loved ones can do to you. I have zero clues about how she got it done. For a while, she was hinting me that she wouldn’t be able to get me any gift for my birthday due to the lockdown. On the contrary, she gifted me the precious of all, the time, wishes, and love from my loved ones. Probably, the best birthday gift ever. Thanks a ton Bansky, Love you 🙂

The collage of wishes from my fiends and teachers ❤

Later in the evening, I had a ZOOM call with my school besties, where they together sang our school birthday wish song in Tamil. In fact, Sam Sung too (that’s an inside joke). Super thanks to all my friends who wished me on my birthday and It means a lot.

During one of the recent calls with my friend SJ, she said, “When you are down, just think of people who are going through a lot worse and be thankful for what you have got, and that would take you a long way ahead.”. And, how true is that. I hope things turn back to normal soon. Not just for me, but for everyone else who’s going through a tough time.